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To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.

I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.

And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?

So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.

Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-

6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.

6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.

A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?

Rapists do.

They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.

Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.

If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.

But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.

And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?

That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.

You. The rapist’s comrade.

And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…

Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.

~

Time-Machine (via a comment at shakesville.com)

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ.

EVER.

(via sktagg23)

 
  #tw: rape    #rape culture  
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  #omg  
posted 3 hours ago / reblog

*Still taking Easter prompts! 

Any more? :)

posted 4 hours ago / reblog

Make that 13 bottles. :D

  #gebo's life  
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Carrying on tradition and going wine tasting with my parents today. 10 bottles of wine later…. :)

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1. Travel to Beijing. To Dubai. To Ukraine, to Lord Howe Island in Australia, to Belize, Vietnam. Travel to the cities were the air tastes of stars and humanity. Travel alone. You’ll meet people you’ve read about in books, the ones who say things like “oceans are God’s palms and you are his savior”.

2. Read poetry. Read sonnets, vignettes, haiku’s, limericks, free-verse. Rip out your favorite pages and hide them places. Put Shakespeare in the metro. Charles Bukowski confessions in church corridors. Anne Sexton in your mothers purse.

3. Do drugs. Smoke joints and eat acid and drink tea spiced with mushrooms. Write stories about dyed-red lizards and pastel oceans. Paint your liver, your lungs, your tongue. Listen to music and then realize how silence is the loudest sound of all.

~poems from my uncle’s grave  (via irynka)  
posted 8 hours ago / reblog

There is a dog in my house….. O_o

reblogged 8 hours ago / reblog
“How I’ve lived without you all these years I’ll never know!”
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  #*sob*    #brother bear    #disney